Thank you! Your gift to me is giving me this Friday and next Friday off.
Each article takes about 2-3 hours to write, rewrite and illustrate and post. So you’ve given me 4-6 hours off. That amounts to about £200 of labour. So thanks, everyone.
Your kindness means there is no substack article today.
So you aren’t reading this. I’m not here.
But since you are here, I have three Christmas gifts for you, oh faithful reader. I know I shouldn’t have. And I kind of didn’t. But here they are:
Gift #1
That would be the latest episode of my Gospel According to a Sitcom Writer podcast. I’ve put up the chapter about Charles Dickens receiving a nocturnal visit from the Angel Gabriel. Gabriel is fretting about this classic Christmas story being too moralistic, and Dickens pushes back with the idea that it’s actually based on a parable that Jesus tells. I won’t spoil it by telling you which one. Here it is on Apple Podcasts, or Spotify:
Gift #2
Speaking of Charles Dickens, here’s an episode of Popcorn Parenting, now on YouTube about one of the all time great Christmas Movies, A Muppet Christmas Carol. And Nate, a reformed mythologist, explains what makes a movie a Christmas movie:
Gift #3
Below you will find what happened when I asked ChatGPT 3.5:
Write an 800 word article in the style and tone of James Cary based on other articles found at jamescary.substack.com
I don’t think it’s captured my style or tone at all. If it had, I would have done a whole other separate article on it. But it doesn’t mention God, Jesus, The Bible, Church, History or anything spiritual at all. Which is weird. That’s probably what the article would have been about if I’d written one.
Either way, I’m probably okay for another year before the robots come.
Thinking about it, there’s nothing to stop you from asking Chat GPT 3.5 the same question.
I’m back on 5th Jan.
Until then, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Here is Chat GPT 3.5’s impersonation of me:
The Art of Absurdity:
Unraveling the Quirks of Everyday Life
Greetings, fine readers!1 Today, let's embark on a whimsical journey through the labyrinth of the absurdities that pepper our everyday existence. Much like a masterful puppeteer orchestrating a chaotic ballet, life revels in its ability to confound, amuse, and occasionally leave us scratching our heads in bewilderment. Join me, dear friends, as we explore the art of absurdity that permeates the very fabric of our existence.2
In the grand tapestry of human experience, one cannot help but marvel at the curious intricacies of our routines and rituals. Take the morning commute, for instance—a surreal ballet of metal boxes hurtling through the asphalt jungle, each driver determined to reach their destination as if engaged in a cosmic race against time itself. It's a spectacle that would make even the most seasoned circus ringmaster blush with envy.
Our collective obsession with efficiency often dances with the absurd, like a waltz between reason and the nonsensical. Picture this: the venerable self-checkout machine at your local grocery store. A modern marvel designed to expedite the shopping process, yet more often than not, it transforms into a temperamental diva, refusing to recognize the weight of a single wayward grape, bringing the entire operation to a screeching halt.
In the world of technology, absurdity finds a cozy corner to nestle in. Consider the ceaseless pursuit of software updates—an endeavor that seems to mirror the cyclical nature of Sisyphean myth3. Each update promises to enhance our digital experience, only to leave us questioning the very fabric of reality as we navigate through an interface that bears a striking resemblance to an avant-garde painting.
Ah, but let us not forget the labyrinthine world of language, where absurdity plays the role of an unruly jester, forever confounding our attempts at clear communication. Take the humble autocorrect, a benevolent yet capricious deity that transforms our well-intentioned messages into cryptic, often hilarious missives. In this linguistic ballet, even the most articulate wordsmiths find themselves entangled in a web of unintentional humor.
The theater of the absurd extends its reach into the realm of social norms, where conventions and customs often appear as a grand masquerade ball. We find ourselves donning masks of propriety, participating in elaborate charades that, upon closer inspection, reveal a delightful tapestry of contradictions. The polite small talk that conceals a cacophony of unspoken thoughts, the carefully curated social media personas that obscure the messy reality—such is the paradoxical dance we perform in the grand carnival of human interaction.
Yet, in the face of life's absurdities, we discover a peculiar charm—a beauty that lies in the unexpected, the unscripted, and the downright bizarre. It is a beauty that blossoms when we embrace the laughter that bubbles up from the depths of our souls as we navigate the surreal landscape of existence.
The genius of the absurd, as I like to call it, lies not in its ability to confound and perplex but in its capacity to awaken a childlike wonder within us. Consider the joy that springs forth when we stumble upon a cat video4 in the midst of a serious workday or find ourselves lost in the rabbit hole of peculiar trivia on the internet. In these moments, we rediscover the art of playfulness, the antidote to the gravity of adult responsibilities.
So, my fellow wanderers in the land of the absurd, let us revel in the quirks and eccentricities that color our daily lives. Let us appreciate the cosmic comedy that unfolds in the most unexpected corners of our existence. For in embracing the absurd, we find a refuge from the mundane and an invitation to dance along with the whimsical rhythm of life.
As we navigate the peculiar landscapes of our days, let us don the cloak of mirth and celebrate the delightful chaos that accompanies us on this journey. After all, in the grand tapestry of existence, it is the threads of absurdity that add a splash of color, turning the mundane into a masterpiece that leaves us marveling at the grandeur of the human experience.
The real James Cary here: I don’t write like that, I do? I really hope I don’t. Leave a comment below. I do at least spell the words ‘humour’, ‘colour’, ‘theatre’, ‘unravelling’ and ‘marvelling’ correctly.
Oof. Terrible start. Why would Chat GPT think I would start an article like that?
“Join me, dear friends”? Is this some awful caricature?
Okay, you got me there. I probably could have written that sentence.
Cat videos are a really hack reference. I’d never do that. I wouldn’t even mention a dog on a skateboard. There’s a joke here about predictive text being so predictable…
James, I’ve been stalking… er … following you for … years now I guess? I can assure you this CGPT farce isn’t you. It certainly and disappointingly flubbed your tone. But more importantly, it didn’t even try to make a point! Your stuff is good to no small extent because you _always_ have a point. A good point. But that CGPT impersonation was just meaningless blather. Thanks again for all the effort you put into this substack!
Or, I could have just said: “yep, your job is safe. For now :-))”
The article uses mannyyy big words that make it hard to read. Clearly the bots reckon you have good vocabulary - and that you put it to use- take that as a complement! Except... Your articles are readable.
Thanks for all the work you put in :)