Why You Won’t Read This Article All The Way To The End

And why this time, it might be different.

People don’t like to read.

I’m not nuancing that, even though I’ve written that statement. And you’ve read it.

People don’t like to read words on a page, or text on a screen. And you probably won’t read every word of this column, all the way to the end.

You might this time as I’ve impugned your reading habits. I’ve implied you just browse, skim things and don’t read properly. Your pride doesn’t like that if you’re like me and like the idea of being considered smart.

Smart people read books. If I say you don’t like to read, I’m implying you can’t be very smart. And so maybe you’ll read to the end to get your own back on me. Good for you.

Look! Here’s a mini-paragraph heading to break up the text!

Wanting to read, wanting to be smart and wanting to be considered smart are different things. Some people just love reading, and will read like most others watch TV - for hours on end. But that’s not most people. Because most people don’t like to read.

What’s that? There’s just so much else to read? Yes, there is. Information is constantly being put in our eyeline. A lot of it is presented poorly. Books and articles are normally too long, or poorly edited. Why read that?

Tweets are short. People like those because they don’t like to read. I may have mentioned this earlier.

Tweets with pictures are proven to do better. Lots of people are finding that pictures without text do better still. Hence Instagram.

Essential Information

People really don’t even like to read essential information, like operations manuals or stage directions. I often tell aspiring sitcom writers to keep all stage directions short because people don’t like to read large blocks of explanatory text.

Everyone reads the dialogue in a script. That tends to be short. Each speech is normally shorter than a Tweet. But scene descriptions and prop specifications are often just not read, even by directors and producers and commissioners.

It’s annoying when someone tells you a scene isn’t funny or doesn’t makes sense when it’s obvious they skipped over key information because it was not said out loud by one of the characters. (It’s also possible the scene you wrote sucked. But it’s even more likely to be both. (If you want to learn to write a sitcom, I can help with that.))

It’s annoying when someone comments on an article you posted online when they clearly haven’t read the article. You know why that is by now.

<Another Subheading To Break Up The Text Here>

Why read articles, internet content and blogs when there is a wealth of well-written, culturally significant prose out there? Right now you could be reading the epic story of Gilgamesh or A Suitable Boy. I’m a 45 year-old graduate and a professional writer and I’ve not even read Dickens or Austen. Not one novel by either. Isn’t that terrible?

Why waste time reading (or writing) some weekly internet column when you (or I) could be reading the classics?

Good question.

Therefore, you have my full permission to stop reading right here and right now with your honour intact and my blessing on this condition: that you immediately pluck that unread copy of Nicholas Nickleby or Persuasion from the shelf right now and read the first chapter. I dare you. Go on. Look at your bookshelf. Found something? Cheerio!

For those who are still with us…

Being goaded into reading will only get you to the start the first chapter. It won’t get you to the end of the book. Why do you even own that copy of Daniel Deronda or Anna Karenina? Because you thought you should read it. But you didn’t really want to. Why? Say it with me now. Because people don’t like to read. I think I’ve made my point.

It’s not you. It’s everyone. You may think that all your friends are reading literary fiction. They’re not. The numbers don’t lie. Dan Brown could build a very large house from bricks of actual money. And that’s good as it is authors like him with their wonky but exciting prose that make literary fiction possible. Google articles about UK book sales and you will be alarmed at the real numbers. But you won’t do that because you don’t like to read. Boom. Got you.

I mention this because at the start of this year, I made a video for people wanting to write, urging them to read more. Writers are readers. Everyone knows that. It is also true, so that’s good. Although I have an unread copy of Jane Eyre within reach of me right now, I do actually read quite a lot, so I was giving out tips on how to read more.

Don’t click the link just now because of one crucial thing which I did not realise at the time. There is a prerequisite for most reading and developing a reading habit. We’ll get to that shortly.

Why Read At All?

There are many reasons to read but here is the one that’s on my mind at the moment. If you actually read the article, document or book in question, you can actually comment on it. Someone posts an article on social media, and people freely comment without having read it. Pundits talk about the news and leap on phrases or headlines when they have not actually read the original document.

For example, if you’re concerned about the environment and urging people or governments to make costly sacrifices, have you read the source material? The obvious place to start would be the latest IPCC report, which contains a broad consensus of scientific opinion. Read it? Or are you relying on soundbites and slogans from journalists or activists who also haven’t read it, and are relying on others who might have skim-read the executive summary? Why haven’t they read it? You know why: people don’t like to read. (Also, the document might not say quite what they are hoping it says. That’s one for another time.)

I’m happy to admit that sometimes I only read the source material or lengthy reports because I have to. I’m goaded into it, or worried that I’ll let people down if I don’t or that I will look a fool. For General Synod and Archbishops’ Council, I am sent many long papers to read. I read them because I have to and was elected so to do. Plus I don’t want to look like a chump in front of two Archbishops, thanks. So my motivation for reading a hundred page report on how Cathedrals are run is a mixture of duty, honour, pride and shame. But I’ll read it.

The Best Reason To Read

Shame or pride are not the best reasons to read. And this is the crucial information I left out of that video I made. (Don’t click the link). I think there is one reason that binds them all together. Want to know what it is? Read on.

Annoying, isn’t it? I’m teasing. Why?

To illustrate what you need to be a reader: curiosity.

That’s why the headline of this column was written at it was: to intrigue. It’s why Jesus’s parables are hard to understand: to make you lean in.

That copy of Jane Eyre on my bookshelf is next to a book that I have read and often recommended: Liberal Fascism by Jonah Goldberg. In 2009, I heard him on BBC Radio 4’s Start the Week explaining his thesis that National Socialism is of the Left, not the Right. (The clue is hiding in plain sight: Socialism) My interest was seriously piqued. I bought the book and immediately consumed it. I was curious.

I was then curious about what else Jonah Goldberg had to say. So, much to the delight of his publisher, in 2015, I bought and, crucially, read his much underrated Tyranny of Clichés. I’ve not yet bought Goldberg’s third book, Suicide of the West, because I’m saving it for later. But I’m curious.

This is my hot tip for reading and I’ll use the biggest font of the article for it:

Leverage your curiosity.

If you want to read more, and develop a habit, find something you’re interested in, buy a book on it and read it. At once.

The book shouldn’t feel like homework or something you want to tick off a list of books you can say you have read. There is chance that that improving or ‘trophy’ book will hook you and be impossible to put down. But probably not.

Find a book that arouses curiosity right now. Buy that book and immediately read it. The moment it goes onto the bottom of your pile by your bed or, even worse, on a high shelf, your curiosity will begin to wane and the chances of reading that book decreases rapidly. You might not read it for months, and it’s gone from being a joy to being homework.

Biblical Curiosities

If you’re a Christian, how do you feel about reading your Bible? Why does it feel like a chore? For me, for the first time in years, I’ve found reading the Bible for myself truly enthralling. The reason? Curiosity.

I began with the Gospel of John, which has always struck me as beautiful book, but hard to understand. But it has always intrigued me. In lockdown, I decided to get to grips with it by not just reading it, and reading books about it, but by copying it out by hand. And committing to making a dozen videos about it for teenagers.

Now, I’m doing the same with Genesis. I’m curious to know what these famous stories actually say, rather than how they are told to kids, or how I remember them. Turns out there’s quite a big difference. And it’s been – and remains – fascinating. Noah hardly speaks. And no-one laughs at him for building an ark. And the first woman at a well with a divine encounter? Hagar.

If you’re struggling to read your Bible, dig into the bit you are most curious about.

And if you’re not curious, pray for some curiosity.

They say curiosity killed the cat. No, it didn’t. Cats have never struck me as profoundly curious creatures. They strike me as lazy creatures who would rather someone else did the reading and told them about it. But if a cat were curious, maybe it died having read a few more books. 

Thanks for reading to the end. I hope you did so out of curiosity rather than wounded pride, but whatever gets you reading.

If you enjoyed this, why not share it? Oh actually, forget that. Your friends don’t like to read, do they? And if you post it on social media, they will comment without reading it, right? But you never know…

And speaking of reading books, my book, The Sacred Art of Joking, is available signed by me, blah blah blah…