The Worst Sermon in the Bible

Or, How God Uses All the Wrong People in Completely The Wrong Way

In this column, we join up 1066 And All That with the 1904 Welsh revival, Jonah, the English Civil War and one of the great gifts the Church of England gave to the world.

“The Norman Conquest was a Good Thing, as from this time onwards England stopped being conquered and thus was able to become top nation.”

― W.C. Sellar, 1066 and All That: A Memorable History of England

1066 and All That is a masterpiece. On the surface, it is a parody of the way history was taught back in the old days. Like today, teaching history was a propaganda exercise in which the adults try to instil values into children by the selective use of the past.

In 1930, when the book was written by W. C. Sellar and R. J. Yeatman, the aim was still to inspire the next generation to go out into the Empire and bring glory to the goddess Britannia. At the time, the book’s overly-pompous and simplistic tone must have seemed genuinely satirical. One lesson here is that you can get away with an awful lot with comedy, saying the unsayable.

The book should be less funny now since the teaching of History in schools has changed radically in the last forty years to reflect (and alter) the times we live in. Today it is quite possible that a student of history can advance to a high degree knowing about the causes of World War Two, the rise of fascism, life as an evacuee and the Holocaust – but know nothing at all about Dunkirk, The Battle of Britain, the Battle of the Atlantic, the Fall of Singapore, D-, VE-, or VJ-Day.

There is a still a huge appetite for military history. You can read thick long books, and I have, by the likes of Anthony Beevor, Max Hastings and James Holland who do not struggle to find publishers for their works.

To those who set the curriculum, the results of these military encounters must seem tediously inevitable, or even inconsequential. It probably didn’t feel that way on Sword Beach at around 6am on D-Day when the German defences opened up on the landing craft.

I’m not arguing for the return of jingoistic history, although some balance is probably required. Nonetheless, 1066 and All That remains a comic warning against labelling events and people as Good or Bad. The clue is in the full subtitle of the book: A Memorable History of England, comprising all the parts you can remember, including 103 Good Things, 5 Bad Kings and 2 Genuine Dates.

Axis, Allies & Approved Periods of History

One large appeal of the Second World War is that it is one of the few conflicts that lends itself to Good Guys and Bad Guys. The international aggression of the Third Reich, the conquest of Europe and the liquidation of people groups is beyond horrifying. Indiana Jones can shoot as many Nazis as he likes without anyone feeling bad or causing anyone to scramble to nuance what we’re seeing.

If we dig deeper into the politics of World War Two we find a vortex of unholy alliances which reveal all kinds of unseemly compromises, such as arming Stalin, the Hitler’s main rival for Worst Human Being Of All Time Award. Not only did we send him tanks, trucks and ammunition, we handed him the whole of Eastern Europe after the war. But we don’t need to worry about those awkward truths when we’re watching The Longest Day or Saving Private Ryan.

World War Two forms one of the Four Approved Periods Of BBC History On Which You Are Allowed To Make Documentaries. Just so you know, here is the list of Approved Periods:

1. World War Two

2. The Romans

3. The Tudors

4. The Victorians

The rest of history may only be portrayed in Horrible Histories sketches. This includes the one time when families were torn in half by a bitter decade-long conflict over Crown, Church and Parliament and, would you believe, the doctrine of Predestination: The English Civil War.

I’ve argued in a previous column about why no-one likes Oliver Cromwell and why the English Civil War is a rarely talked about, tthe main reason being that no-one is clear who are the Good Guys and the Bad Guys. This is acknowledged in 1066 and All That:

“With the ascension of Charles I to the throne we come at last to the Central Period of English History (not to be confused with the Middle Ages, of course), consisting in the utterly memorable Struggle between the Cavaliers (Wrong but Wromantic) and the Roundheads (Right but Repulsive).” 
― W.C. Sellar, 1066 and All That: A Memorable History of England

My point is this: we like labels. And this is a Bad Thing.

Bread of Heaven

I mention this because I’ve recently been looking at the 1904 Welsh Revival. The newspaper reports about the transformation of society are an exhilarating read if you are a Christian. Some Welsh towns famously handed a white glove to the magistrate indicating that there were no crimes to prosecute. Alcoholism plummeted. DIY and home improvements consequently rocketed as sober men finally got around to putting up those shelves. Pit ponies could no longer understand their masters because they had stopped swearing at them. Eisteddfods were not held and rugby fixtures were not contested because people were too busy praying. Seriously.

I explained this phenomenon to an intelligent secular colleague a while back who responded in good faith, “You mean it was cult?” I hadn’t thought of it that way. But it probably looks like that to the outsider who doesn’t consider all night prayer meetings to be A Good Thing.

But this is the question: was the 1904 Welsh Revival ‘A Good Thing’?

Evan Roberts and the Singing Sisters

The 1904 Revival didn’t last as long as previous revivals of which there had been many. By 1906, Eisteddfods and rugby matches resumed, as did heavy drinking, fights and crime. But when conservative and reformed types look over how the revival started and continued, a few alarm bells start ringing. The famous preacher at the heart of the revival, Evan Roberts, frequently didn’t preach at all. Meetings were often mostly prayer, waiting for the Holy Spirit to do something. Roberts was normally accompanied by five Singing Sisters who were given, in the opinion of some, undue prominence.

Many will defend everything that took place to the hilt since this formed the beginnings of the modern Pentecostalist movement. But the more one investigates the goings on of this revival, the more it resembles the more recent Toronto Blessing revival of 1994 which began in Toronto Airport Vineyard church, of all places, but proved to be, in the opinion of many, a decidedly mixed blessing.

***BUZZER SOUND***

We’re doing it again, aren’t we? We want clearly defined Good Movements and Bad Movements. We crave Goodies and Baddies. We want clearly defined False Teachers who openly deny the divinity of Christ. And we want godly Faithful Teachers who teach the historic, Reformed, biblical, unimpeachable faith.

But then we discover a rotten peach. Or several rotten peaches. They owned slaves. They had affairs. They had fingers in the collection plate. They had two private jets. We then scramble to sanctimoniously tear down the idols that we ourselves erected. The preachers in question go from Good to Bad. Approved to Cancelled.

If history teaches us one thing, as highlighted in 1066 and All That, we should be very dubious about these labels to be begin with. 

The Church of England’s Greatest Gifts

We instinctively adopt the same attitude to denominations. Plenty of conservative evangelicals and Reformed types have grave reservations about the Church of England. No-one is more aware of the flaws of this denomination than me. In some ways, I have a front row seat. It might appear that the evangelical heroes of the Anglican faith like Cranmer and Ridley perished at the stake, never to be replaced. But this is the denomination that has produced, more recently, JC Ryle, JI Packer and John Stott. I have no doubt there are currently a few people ordained (and in the laity) in the Church of England who will prove to be just as influential.

What’s more, the awful truth is that the Westminster Confession (1646), the basis of many a Reformed catechism and statement of faith, is almost entirely a product of Anglicans. You are welcome.

And let’s not get into missionaries and faithful ministry and witness of millions in the Anglican Communion across the world.

God has, of course, also used all kinds of Christian movements, ministries, preachers and denominations to bring people into his Kingdom. The fact is this: God is annoyingly non-denominational.

The Worst Sermon In The Bible

We see God’s use of the least obvious in scripture. By far the most effective prophet who causes the biggest revival in the Old Testament is Jonah. He is bigoted, bitter and resentful of God’s mercy on the Ninevites, delivering possibly the worst sermon in the entire Bible:

“Yet forty days, and Nineveh shall be overthrown!” (Jonah 3:4)

Great gospel presentation, Jonah. You didn’t mention sin. Or God, for that matter. (Although one supposes these words are a summary) But what is the result?

And the people of Nineveh believed God. They called for a fast and put on sackcloth, from the greatest of them to the least of them. (Jonah 3:5)

Mass, city-wide, visible, comically-sized repentance. God used a terrible, small-minded preacher to bring about wholesale repentance in a gigantic city of sin.

Jonah should have run an Alpha Course

Yet part of us is with Jonah. If we’d been given his job, we would have done it differently, and been radically less effective. We would have done a lot more pre-evangelism; joined some sports club to get to know non-Christians; run a men’s breakfast and a pub quiz; maybe a mission in a few months time which would be mostly based on common objections to the faith, plus a short clear gospel presentation. And we would take a handful of converts as a good result.

If used our methods to sell Tupperware or Amway cleaning products, we’d make an awful lot of money.

God does not do things our way. Thank God for that.

Horrible Heroes of the Faith

Paul, the apostle, had a track record of killing Christians. He was used by God to bring the gospel to the Gentiles. Moreover, he rejoiced when others through impure motives competed with him in preaching the gospel.

Jesus created scandal by eating with the tax collectors and sinners, healing the sick and the lame on the wrong day. Throughout the Bible, we see God consistently choosing the wrong people, tricksters like Jacob, cowards like Gideon, thugs like Samson, adulterers like David, and child kings like Josiah to show his grace and mercy to completely the wrong people.

So was the Welsh Revival A Good Thing? What about The Toronto Blessing? Is the Church of England a Lost Cause? If history and scripture teach us one thing it is that we do not need one word answers to those questions.

Hopefully this was thought-provoking and equally offensive and enraging to just about everyone. Would you consider sharing post with a few people via email? Or social media if you’re feeling brave. That would really help me out.

James Cary’s book, The Sacred Art of Joking (SPCK 2019) is available here. Why not get a signed copy? Or two? It makes a good gift.

Is Christianity Absurd? Watch James talk about that online with Vic at St Andrew the Great in Cambridge.