Present Imperatives
At least we all know what pronouns are
I’m 46. So I don’t know what a ‘fronted adverbial’ is.
I wasn’t taught English grammar. That wasn’t the way things were done in the 1980s. And I’ve not learned it since then as I don’t have to help my kids with their English homework governed by the National Curriculum since we home educate.
The only reason I do have a solid grasp of grammar is because I learned Latin at school. This means I can tell you about the iussive subjunctive. But I still don’t know about fronted adverbials.
Right now, we’re all learning about pronouns really quickly. Soon, you might well be asked to specify your pronouns. You may find yourself in a Zoom meeting, and at the beginning, the meeting leader says, ‘Please specify your pronouns at the end of your name, and then we’ll start the meeting. Thanks!’ What should you do?
One obvious thing is to do what the boss or leader says. In my case, it would be “James Cary (He/Him)”. The comedy writer in me would, of course, love to subvert this and make jokes. I could say that I now identify as Roman, so it’s “James Cary (Is/Eum)”.
But jokes would not go down well in this situation. Far from relaxing everyone, this would escalate the matter.
Maybe we should lean into being subversive. Why not put “James Cary (Is/Eum)” and front it out? After all, those who are trying to ‘be sensible’ are insisting that our gender is a self-defined choice, rather than a biological reality. Why not have it out?
Some readers may be puzzled by this. Why have it out? In fact, the question might be: have what out? People are specifying their pronouns now. Isn’t it just kindness and courtesy to those who were declared male at birth but now wish to be referred to as female? Or vice versa?
The Debate We Never Had
The notion that gender is self-declared, or that your sex is not a settled biological fact, is very recent. The words ‘cis’ and ‘heteronormative’ have been floating around for a while, but suddenly, people are putting their preferred pronouns in their Twitter and LinkedIn bios, and email signatures. But it feels like we’ve not actually had the debate about this.
JK Rowling and Graham Linehan have been pushing back against this narrative and been viciously attacked for it. They seem bewildered that everyone is oddly okay with the idea that men identifying as women should automatically be granted access to women’s changing rooms, bathrooms and prisons. And they are enraged that children have been given irreversible medical treatment because they have been confused about their gender identity.
Caveats
So pushing back against this narrative comes with some pretty big caveats (which is the iussive subjunctive of ‘caveo’, by the way. You are welcome). Refuse to give your pronouns in that Zoom meeting and you might be excluded from it. And then called by HR. Who might decide you need to be re-educated. And send you on a course run by Stonewall. Or Mermaids. You might be suspended. Or fired. In that case, you’ve now dragged your family into this debate, especially if you are the sole breadwinner in your family.
So most people go along with the latest linguistic stipulations. After all, why cause a fuss? Why die on this hill? Besides, by saying ‘James Cary (He/Him)’ I’m not lying, am I?
But it never ends there. Movements spread. Words have power. Once everyone sees everyone else going along with it, dissent over the next thing gets even harder. And you think you’re the only one and that resistance is futile. And then it’s not just enough to specify your pronouns. You have to agree to use everyone else’s pronouns regardless of what you really think. By specifying yours, you’ve already dignified everyone else’s.
The movement isn’t spreading to schools. It has already spread there. Here’s a screengrab from a tweet that appeared on my feed the other day.
The Future Indicative
So what would you do if you were in that situation in that Zoom meeting? Actually, no subjunctives here. No conditionals. This is future indicative active. What will you do? Will you specify your pronouns? Or is there another option?
I suggest one option in a discussion of this exact situation on the latest episode of Cooper & Cary Have Words. Barry and I don’t agree one hundred per cent, by the way. Find out on what.
And if you want to support the podcast (sidenote: please support the podcast), you get can the Extended version by subscribing to Cooper & Cary Plus on Apple Podcasts, or join us on Patreon where you also get access to our friendly neighbourhood Discord server. And there, you can explain to me what a fronted adverbial is.
