11 Ways to Take Control of Your Phone

And why Jesus needed to repeat himself

Last time, I said that your phone is not the problem. Your phone is a brilliant, magical device, which explains why you’re probably addicted to it.

Of course, you might be one of those rare exceptions who’s still using a Nokia 3310. Or you’re one of those refuseniks who never even had a phone to begin with. If that’s the case, I’m in awe of you.

The rest of us are carrying mesmerising minicomputers in our pockets. We need to take control. According to one study, Americans touch their phones about 2,617 times a day. Yes, per day. If your child touched ANYTHING that often you’d tell them to stop, and when they proved unable to do so, you’d put it on a high shelf. Let’s be honest. We have a problem.

So why not use Lent to change our habits? After all, this is a spiritual discipline and a battle.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Our actions show who we are. That’s one of the lessons you learn when writing. ‘Show not tell’ is the often used phrase. Don’t tell me how the characters are feeling. Show me by what they are doing. It’s what they do that demonstrates who they really are. Their words are mere justifications, or even self-deluded lies. By a man’s works shall ye know him. This is a paraphrase of what Jesus says in the Sermon on the Mount in the Gospel of Matthew.

But what determines what we believe and who we are? Our actions. What we look at. What we focus on. Earlier in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus warns his followers:

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matthew 6:21)

Our hearts follow our treasure. We don’t just spend our money on what we care about. We will care about what we have spent our money on.

Jesus then moves on to the eye.

The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness! (Matthew 6:22-23)

Our inner life is strongly linked to what we look at, what we focus on, what we continuously scroll through. So we shouldn’t be surprised that we will live a life of discontentment with the world around us, which is unfiltered and less cinematic what we see on our phones. Real life is more complicated, because real people are complicated.

And if we want to change our behaviour, we often need to act radically. In that same sermon, Jesus warns us:

If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. (Matthew 5:29)

And he says almost exactly the same thing in Matthew 18:9, as he knew we were probably looking at our phones the first time he said it.

How are we going to break our phone addiction, so we are looking at the people God has put in front of us, rather than an enhanced, airbrushed version of someone thousands of miles away?

Here are 6 tips, most of which are obvious and there are 5 more next time, so why not subscribe to get the whole list?

#1 Turn your Phone to Silent

The phone wants your attention. And it will call out to you like a Siren. Odysseus had to be lashed to the mast of the ship to resist the lure of that sound. So turn off the beckoning siren.

Many of us already do this. This is an easy one to start with. My phone is permanently on silent. No-one needs to be constantly interrupted with bings, bongs, bleeps, and burbles.

Turn off ‘vibrate’ too. Vibrating still makes a noise or taps you on the shoulder (or leg), so switch that off.

I believe you can tell your phone to make noises or alert you when it’s someone that might urgently need you, like a child, spouse or elderly relative. Okay. Make an exception or two so you’re not constantly checking it, now that it’s silent and not vibrating.

#2 Turn Off Notifications

Set up your phone so that you’re not notified when you get a message. This will mean that when you next look at your phone to do something the front screen is not emblazoned with messages to scroll through – almost all of which are not important and certainly don’t need to interrupt your day.

If you’ve picked up your phone to call someone, you’re probably going to scroll through all of those WhatsApp messages first, some of which you will feel compelled to answer and fifteen minutes have gone – and the moment to call that person has now passed. Or you’re now making that call and are very distracted and running late, so you might end up sounding rude. You might have avoided that if you’d turned off your notifications.

#3 Leave your phone face down

As a rule, I leave my phone face down on the desk or table. No matter what you do with your phone, messages or alerts still worm their way through, and the screen lights up. Don’t look at the bright light! Look away! In fact, you really don’t need to do anything as drastic as gouging out your eyes. Just place the phone face down. Phones cannot spontaneously flip over. Not yet, anyway. And during mealtimes, don’t even have it on the table. Put it somewhere out of reach. Even better, in a drawer so you don’t even see it.

#4 Use the Second Page or Third Page

I’m 46, so I’m an email guy. That’s how I manage my life and priorities, unfortunately. One way I’m weaning myself off that is to check my email a lot less. I know some who have just deleted the Mail app and can only access emails via a browser, which is hardly worth the trouble. Maybe that’s right for you.

For me, deleting my Mail app is probably overkill for now. I don’t get email notifications anymore – and I’ve set up my phone so that it doesn’t even tell me how many unread messages I have in that little red circle of pain and stress. But the mere sight of that Mail app makes me want to check it, even when I’ve looked at my phone to check on the weather for the afternoon.

So I’ve moved the Mail App to the second page where I don’t see it when I’m checking the weather or playing a podcast. I have to go and look for the Mail app.

This has made a big difference to my phone use. I check my email a lot less as a result, especially outside of office hours.

You might want to consider doing that with an app that you’re tempted to check more often than is wise. I like Instagram. But I’ve also moved that off the front page too. I only look at it when I’m brushing my teeth. Four minutes of Instagram a day is plenty, right?

#5 Delete Apps

I like Instagram, but I don’t find it terribly addictive. In fact, sometimes while brushing my teeth, I read my Kindle or a physical book. (I should probably use the time to learn my Greek verbs. In fact, I’m going to do that).

Facebook and Twitter are stickier for me since they’re more interactive – and more about ‘ideas’, which are a flame to this particular moth.

So at least a year ago, I deleted Facebook and Twitter from my iPhone – and my iPad. I only access them via my laptop during the working day. And mostly in the afternoons. You probably don’t need to delete your Facebook or Twitter account but it’s worth considering. Would you miss it? Would anyone miss you? Deleting the app from the phone is good start, though.

#6 Have More Email Accounts

This sounds counterintuitive but it makes sense to me, at least. Have multiple email addresses. There’s one for important work/family mail. And one for other less important mail. And one for very low-priority stuff (like newsletter subscriptions, for example). For me, as someone involved in General Synod and a number of other church bodies, I have an email address I use for that. I look at it every day, but only in the afternoon when I have time to deal with them. (I focus on writing in the morning) This also means that when I open my higher priority work emails that I am contractually obliged to read and respond do, I’m not looking at twenty five unread emails, but two or three.

There are five more tips next time. So subscribe – using a low-priority email address.

Dates are being added to my Water into Wine show all the time which will be in Hampstead, Derby, Fowey and Bristol this month. Then Wimbledon, Exeter, Balham, Eastbourne, Canterbury and Frome. For the latest info and links to box offices for bookings, go over here.